black people have one, and well, im jealous.
i was gonna leave it at this, but i feel i need to justify why i deserve a month over all you tards.
firstly, im not overwhelmingly tall, but i have a huge vocabulary.
secondly, i tell ridiculously pointless stories, thus making people question my IQ, and thus hot girls notice me and i get their numbers and dont call them cuz im not shallow; i like whats inside… so long as the outside isn’t really fat.
thirdly, growing up was rough. my life was full of obstacles, nothing like slavery, but still, going to preschool and kindergarden while still in diapers, that shit is just humiliating.
have you ever had nap time but couldn’t sleep cuz you shit in your diaper and it was muddying up your butt cheeks, and you were too afraid to tell your teacher about it out of fear she wouldn’t let you partake in play time?
i didn’t think so either, but thats a hurdle i overcame.
i overcame it by getting naked under my desk and putting on some random kids snow pants and leaving behind my soiled GIJOE underwear, which i’ll add i miss greatly.
optimus prime on the front made my youthful penis feel mighty and proud, the way a real man should.
also, i used to have a mild stutter and lisp, which some of my friends still find hilarious. jackasses.
i would tag them, but then they’d know they’re my friends, and i dont like to advertise.
at work today, i was flirting with this woman on the phone, and my boss sneakily snuck up behind me and listened. she seemed aroused, but then told me to do an ass load of work that i knew i’d never get done. since i was aware i wouldn’t finish it, i didn’t bother even starting.
my reasoning for this was that no one likes a quitter, so rather than start and have to bail on it, not getting any done and doing other things instead made me feel better about myself.
you ever been meeting your friends at the movies and they tell you they’re in one theatre but really they aren’t, so you go in there and sit next to a hot girl who coincidentally has a large mean italian boyfriend? i haven’t but dreamed about it last nite and i made fun of him and left with her and her fake breasties. she had low self-esteem.
what up?