i guess she wasn’t interested.
so, after kicking my exam to the curb yesterday, dave and i rocked the blue jays game and at finch station we came across the best poster ever.
it said that 40% of women get abused during their pregnancies. well, i didn’t wanna make a fuss, but i told dave that, thats a pretty weak percentage. its a failing grade, would YOU be satisfied with barely scraping by? so, i’ve decided it’ll be my mission to boost that up past 50% by fondling and groping the bellies of pregnant babes.
i know its not really abuse, but if i make goofy faces and fart, they might get creeped out, showing that i have some sort of creeper potential.
the game itself was pretty bad ass, roy halladay was doing his usual thing of making a mess of the boston red tampons lineup, when suddenly he left and our bullpen figured we’d lose the game. so thats what happened, but we got free nachos cuz i couldn’t afford them and the debit machine was busted.
next, we bumped into that crazy rascallous bastard jon rubingstuff, and he looked jovial as always telling us stories about crazy interviews and a 15 hour meeting he’d just been in. he looked pretty good for having sat thru half a day of meetings… i wonder if he uses biore facial cloths? i should invest in some.
then at jack astors, i got made into a total douchebag loser since i got called out for not actually being a first timer, and the waitresses thought i was a pervert. dave helped this out by leaving my name, number and facebook on the table. good news though, so far… not one person has called or wrote. that means even with help, i still repel girls. this in itself has convinced me to write a self help book for guys with lazy eyes, gimpy appendages and a general problem with making conversation with the other species. oh, and if you’d rather play world of warcraft than have sex with a babe, this book might be for you.
oh, i told dana i’d mention something she wall posted on my wall and it was about hellogoodbye and some geeky guy picking up some girl. clearly he studied the pythagorean theorem and deduced that a2 + b2 = the way into a girls pants.
and this once again proves that brains, are better than looks.
now for the serious news. i have a problem, and it involves drinking and doing essays at the same time. i want to seek help, but i dont see how i can drink at the doctors office.
anyone wanna write this essay for me?
- mr. t