Archive for November, 2007
I was having a pretty in-depth discussion with my esteemed colleague brubbs, and we decided that black beauty, the movie is really a sham. i haven’t actually seen the movie, but based on what i read about it on the back of the cover, and the liner notes in the novel, i’ve come to the conclusion that it has underlying messages of racism and possibly corrupt bureaucracy. i mean, really, a story about a black horse being tamed and then owned for racing purposes sounds a lot like slavery to me. correct me if im wrong, but is this not a valid statement? actually, don’t correct me, cuz i dont care. you’re probably a hippie, or you just smell funny, and i can’t take anyone seriously if they smell weird. its like eating a burger that tastes like chicken. i dont trust it.
i enter the pew, and confess to the clergyman that im a sinner.
he asks what i’ve done… and i tell him i did it prior to his last sentence and i just finished. he is confused, i only sigh and smirk. basically church is a great way to meet people.
so i saw this movie not too long ago, and i was BLOWN AWAY.
first off, i wanna thank ben affleck for not casting himself cuz i would have demanded a refund. and secondly, his brother casey did such a great job im going to nominate him for an award i like to call best actor, or possibly ‘the dude’ cuz he was just amazing.
this movie had everything i could ever want in a movie, some girls i’d fool around with, a bunch of badass hooligans causing a scene, a mullet, hideous wenches, some repugnant people, and Ed Harris. yeah, morgan freeman was in it too, so you know its gotta be ok.
its about a baby that goes gone… baby, so gone.
i got punched in the mouth by some douchebag and was bleeding profusely, and this hot babe was all “oh my god are you ok?” so i was like, “duh, i just bled so you’d come talk to me…” she swooned.
really though, what happened was i picked up this broad at the bar the other night cuz i was in costume (as myself). i was drawn to her when she looked at me and guessed that i was dressed as the coolest guy alive.