i got punched in the mouth by some douchebag and was bleeding profusely, and this hot babe was all “oh my god are you ok?” so i was like, “duh, i just bled so you’d come talk to me…” she swooned.

really though, what happened was i picked up this broad at the bar the other night cuz i was in costume (as myself). i was drawn to her when she looked at me and guessed that i was dressed as the coolest guy alive.

she was right, so i owed it to her to buy her a drink or three.

anyways, we set up a date for tomorrow night, so i’ll keep you posted on how it goes.

ok, so rather than write a new post, this is part 2.

dinner comes, and im alone. go figure eh?

i call her after i’ve eaten and washed my face and ass in the complimentary water bowl like they have at swiss chalet. the maitre ‘d was a bit shocked by my actions so i told him i was new to the country and that it was the worlds smallest toilet, he should be proud of his invention. he shit his pants, no joke.

ok, so the call… i asked her a simple question cuz she seemed dumb “where were you tonight?”

her answer “oh i was there, … i was in costume as the invisible woman”

what a crafty bitch eh? i got played for a fool, too bad for her i got her sister pregnant for the injustice of getting stood up. now every time she sees that kid it’ll remind her of me, cuz it’ll have awesome hair and some goofy sense of humour.

i just had an assload of wings and im full of it tonight. just wild.

ok, time to finish 28 weeks later, starring that hot babe from some movie i forget, but its all good. go zombies!

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