i enter the pew, and confess to the clergyman that im a sinner.
he asks what i’ve done… and i tell him i did it prior to his last sentence and i just finished. he is confused, i only sigh and smirk. basically church is a great way to meet people.
i went over to the choir girls and told a gaggle of them i wanted to eat their vagina’s as if it were the last supper. yeah, i went biblical on them and im pretty sure they loved it. i didn’t get a date, or a number, but i could tell they were thinking of me since they had the audacity to tell their dads all about the man who’d been prowling. fairly pleased with myself, and went and bathed in the huge fountain of holy water, even cleaned my undies the same way you see homeless men do in public fountains and water fountains in the park. its very relaxing, like your own personal pool.
i really want one of those big hats like the pope has. i could keep porn in there as well as foot long assorted sub, candy and all sorts of things. maybe drugs that i could sell to little kids.
uh oh… gotta run, that guy from the Da Vinci Code is here, about to beat me with his spiky belt of chastizing. 
*sad face*