ok, im not gonna go into the history of women and all that business, but as most people know (its a scientific fact actually) that women have a tendency to need and more specifically want things that are generally ridiculous. point in case, flowers.
what is the need for flowers? sure, its the thought of getting something that matters most, so why not just say “i thought of getting you flowers… but didn’t” then expect a bj or something equally good, like breakfast, bacon included. am i selfish to think this is a bit extreme? guys don’t want or need flowers and trivial shit to make us happy. really, a beer, some wings and possibly a good sporting event is adequate.
anyways, back on track; flowers are stupid. you know they’re gonna die, but yet you still take care of them and feed them water and all that.
you know what, i have a modest proposal - you like taking care of things that are gonna die anyways, i may as well get you a terminally ill child.
think about it. its a thoughtful gift, you can care for it, and unlike a flower, you can interact and potentially bond… then one day, lil timmy doesn’t answer you and into the garbage he goes.
you know after a while you water those flowers and the petals start falling off and you’re like “uh oh… i know where this is headed.” yeah, same goes for when timmy is in the bath and you notice skin samples drifting away from his body as the leprosy really kicks it into 5th or even 6th gear, if he’s a really powerful case.
simple math here.
flowers + time = wilting and death.
timmy + time = refer to above.
there is no hidden variable, which is kind of sad, but beautifully tragic. almost poetic in a way. makes me wanna riverdance and shout out words that have meanings.
furthermore, i’d like to add that im not insensitive, im a realist. im more than willing to buy a girl flowers, i just haven’t yet cuz… well thats a separate issue we’ll deal with next time.
good night, and thanks for stopping by, but mostly stay classy.