i was watching porn last night as i didn’t go out and was getting kinda antsy around midnight and it started getting boring fast.  i mean, its been a while since i’ve gotten any which wasn’t helping. but the people in the porn started looking like people i know.  in the first scene two girls were getting all naked with each other and suddenly started eating strawberries.  i was hoping they’d make me some fruit salad with fondue, but that didn’t really work out.  suddenly one of them bent over and transformed into my grade 7 english teacher, who for the record was gorgeous and i was in L with.  sadly, the other girl started looking a lot like my friend who’ll remain nameless, but i was disgusted and had to turn it off.  my boner fully slain of anything sexual, was resorted to doing nothing.  i then watched the office and fantasized about how much fun it would be to work in an environment surrounded by awesome people and dwight.

back on track for a second, have you ever tried watching different types of porn for varieties sake, ie one with a plot (right…) or animals, or fetish?

me neither, but im curious and want to kill time.

story time:  back in the day, like we’re talking years ago when i was young and naive, i nearly got caught watching stuff involving women and themselves.

it was like discovery channel, but everyone was naked and had toys.

anyhow, my heart was racing similar to that of a raccoon drunk with ambition as he saunters towards the highway, i couldn’t wait to see what was on the other side, i mean… what happended next.

well, what happened was people walked in the room, and i had to cover up with my science textbook.  lucky for me it was like 800 pages and pretty heavy.  it took care of the situation.  sadly, i was hurt, and offended, more embarrassed than anything, but no one would be the wiser.

i just read some boring drivel about feminism and politics.  im pretty sure i’ll never be aroused again, its a sad day in the life of darryl, one of many to be sure.

i’ve stopped keeping track, as im fairly confident those days outweigh the good.

till next time, <3

so, i was out the other day minding my own business when i had to piss.

i stopped off at the eaton’s centre and used the public bathroom.

i was at the urinal surrounded by dude’s. i looked to my left and laughed, same to my right then asked “so… this where all the dicks hang out?”

and thus explains the story for my black eye.

i was getting the snow fever, you know where you start losing it and ranting about things to inanimate objects? well it was happening, so i figured i’d tame this with some food.

yes, i got domino’s pizza to deliver. two piping hot pizza’s, one meat lovers and one canadian.

yes, i also asked him how the weather was.

… his look of rage answered all remaining questions i had for him.

case in point, this pizza is delicious and a great way to kill a day. im thinking maybe i’ll order some pizza for dinner, good idea, or not?

i really wanna go and have a snowball fight, possibly make snow angels with fun people, but sadly, conditions are lame and make for rough driving. i know this, cuz last night sucked too.

dinner was good though, which brightened everything.

im mad antsy, time to go throw things at squirrels.

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