ok, so we all know obama is a political icon… but what’s he doing when he’s not campaigning to be the next president?

i’ll tell you.

here’s the man in question, looking rather dapper i might say:

yeah, sure… he goes around giving speeches and reading pop-up books to retarded kids and orphans that he finds on the street who approach his vehicle and try to clean its windshield, but thats all a farce, a charade if you will.

herein lies the tricky part - playing various roles without being caught, using fake or maybe even stolen identities to possibly satisfy a childhood dream of maybe being something more than a politician.

now, over the past while, i’ve been watching him, and i realize he’s got a good side gig going on.

this has been going on for years actually, starting with a little show i (and many others) refer to as ‘THE A-TEAM.

here’s a little picture of our man obama trying to campaign while in costume as his character B.A Baracas (note the similarities in the pictures, suit and flag)

are you kidding me?!

if this isn’t the same guy, you can all kiss my ass.  seriously though mr. o-face, im proud.  doesn’t look like you’ve aged a day since this show ended, and for a while you had me fooled; gold chains, silly mohawk, catchy catch phrases like ’shut yo’ mouth sucka!’ and ‘i pity the fool who…’

and now, friends.  here is the moment you’ve really been searching for - barack obama at his finest, carrying on a tradition that started about 50 years ago, going where no man has gone before… yes, space, the final frontier… these are the voyages of - Tuvoc AND, yes AND… Worf!

oh my shit!  look at him during a press conference after the episode where catherine janeway got her shit ruined by the borg.  he’s all smiles… talking about change and other fancy things.  and then he’s playing robin hood in the holo-deck, and wearing a mask.

is this halloween?  i hope so, cuz he not only tricked me into thinking he was a klingon, but he gave me a treat with his funny antics and crazy battle techniques.

what a guy.  i’d vote for him, if i could.  so in closing, if you see this obama, live long and prosper.

i was on youtube recently and found something that really chapped my ass.

whats the deal with these big douchers recording clips of themselves playing video games and saying its “the best…” ever, where you can fill in the blank with hit, fight, baby bash, embolism,  rape, etc.

i was browsing hockey clips, and some jackass recorded his nhl 09 game (on xbox 360) and did a colour commentary with all his greatest hits and goals and compared them to one that actually happened in real life.  if i cared more, i’d find it.

anyways, here’s how it went:

douche: “omg, look how good i am at video games, i just pwned that guy in 3D!!!!! *total boner* best hit ever!!@#!@%# holyyy i just dumped in my pants cuz i scored an upside down goal from a 4th line player that sees two mins of ice/game I’M SOO FUCKING23047234 GOOOD!!!”

my instant reply commentary: “virgin boy wins a game, but fails life. im going to beat him up”

moving on… we have a new brand of heroes, yes, you guessed it - guitar heroes.

these winners record themselves playing GHIII and beating dragon force with 87 millions points and about 14 chubbies per group.

so, i attempted this feat and rocked something special.  i recorded myself playing real guitar, and unlike these kids, i got the attention of a woman!

yeah, my mom said hi and made me a sandwich.  im feeling pretty special right about now.

Here is a real clip of something that makes my blood boil:

i hope this kid gets crotch rot. it’ll be doing him a favour cuz he’s never going to need his balls.

this is what happens when two siblings decide to bone cuz they’re both disgusting trolls.

are you serious? i want this kid to get hit by a bus full of terminally ill people because the irony will be so delicious.

im not sure where it is, i just really hate this kid.  are you people seeing this? kids like exist.  if you’re unlucky and hook up with an idiot, this could be your child.

if you know whats good for you, don’t let this demon spawn taint your womb.  and guys, if your hobbies include huffing paint thinner or drinking gasoline… lop your cock off with a hatchet. spare us.

son of a bitch baby nipples, this kid STILL has that stupid mask on. this is why the profession of garbage man/homeless man came along, we can clearly see the life path here.  masked asshole now… possible masked pedofile/crack dealer/scumbag illiterate in a few years.

if any of these terms elude you, google ‘hamilton, ontario’ - it’ll sum things up nicely.

and for you ladies that think this kid is gonna be a real stud cuz he can push all the right buttons, look what he’s dealing with; a long hard shaft.  i think it speaks for itself.

im way too angry to even move.

ungh

so, i was out the other day minding my own business when i had to piss.

i stopped off at the eaton’s centre and used the public bathroom.

i was at the urinal surrounded by dude’s. i looked to my left and laughed, same to my right then asked “so… this where all the dicks hang out?”

and thus explains the story for my black eye.

i was getting the snow fever, you know where you start losing it and ranting about things to inanimate objects? well it was happening, so i figured i’d tame this with some food.

yes, i got domino’s pizza to deliver. two piping hot pizza’s, one meat lovers and one canadian.

yes, i also asked him how the weather was.

… his look of rage answered all remaining questions i had for him.

case in point, this pizza is delicious and a great way to kill a day. im thinking maybe i’ll order some pizza for dinner, good idea, or not?

i really wanna go and have a snowball fight, possibly make snow angels with fun people, but sadly, conditions are lame and make for rough driving. i know this, cuz last night sucked too.

dinner was good though, which brightened everything.

im mad antsy, time to go throw things at squirrels.

WOAH.
so aside from having to work now, the weekend was ridiculous.
goderich and grand bend are awesome fun.
prologue: pluckin’ fest is a festival where little kids go around beating chickens or each other with chickens.
then they bbq anyone or anything that doesn’t make it.
ie. like in 300 where all the weak pathetic gimpy babies get thrown down the well, all the sissy nancy boy kids and chickens get their shit bbq’d and fed to keep the strong even stronger.
darwin is giggling in his grave. Read more »

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