i’ll tell you.

here’s the man in question, looking rather dapper i might say:

yeah, sure… he goes around giving speeches and reading pop-up books to retarded kids and orphans that he finds on the street who approach his vehicle and try to clean its windshield, but thats all a farce, a charade if you will.

herein lies the tricky part - playing various roles without being caught, using fake or maybe even stolen identities to possibly satisfy a childhood dream of maybe being something more than a politician.

now, over the past while, i’ve been watching him, and i realize he’s got a good side gig going on.

this has been going on for years actually, starting with a little show i (and many others) refer to as ‘THE A-TEAM.

here’s a little picture of our man obama trying to campaign while in costume as his character B.A Baracas (note the similarities in the pictures, suit and flag)

are you kidding me?!

if this isn’t the same guy, you can all kiss my ass.  seriously though mr. o-face, im proud.  doesn’t look like you’ve aged a day since this show ended, and for a while you had me fooled; gold chains, silly mohawk, catchy catch phrases like ’shut yo’ mouth sucka!’ and ‘i pity the fool who…’

and now, friends.  here is the moment you’ve really been searching for - barack obama at his finest, carrying on a tradition that started about 50 years ago, going where no man has gone before… yes, space, the final frontier… these are the voyages of - Tuvoc AND, yes AND… Worf!

oh my shit!  look at him during a press conference after the episode where catherine janeway got her shit ruined by the borg.  he’s all smiles… talking about change and other fancy things.  and then he’s playing robin hood in the holo-deck, and wearing a mask.

is this halloween?  i hope so, cuz he not only tricked me into thinking he was a klingon, but he gave me a treat with his funny antics and crazy battle techniques.

what a guy.  i’d vote for him, if i could.  so in closing, if you see this obama, live long and prosper.

whats the deal with these big douchers recording clips of themselves playing video games and saying its “the best…” ever, where you can fill in the blank with hit, fight, baby bash, embolism,  rape, etc.

i was browsing hockey clips, and some jackass recorded his nhl 09 game (on xbox 360) and did a colour commentary with all his greatest hits and goals and compared them to one that actually happened in real life.  if i cared more, i’d find it.

anyways, here’s how it went:

douche: “omg, look how good i am at video games, i just pwned that guy in 3D!!!!! *total boner* best hit ever!!@#!@%# holyyy i just dumped in my pants cuz i scored an upside down goal from a 4th line player that sees two mins of ice/game I’M SOO FUCKING23047234 GOOOD!!!”

my instant reply commentary: “virgin boy wins a game, but fails life. im going to beat him up”

moving on… we have a new brand of heroes, yes, you guessed it - guitar heroes.

these winners record themselves playing GHIII and beating dragon force with 87 millions points and about 14 chubbies per group.

so, i attempted this feat and rocked something special.  i recorded myself playing real guitar, and unlike these kids, i got the attention of a woman!

yeah, my mom said hi and made me a sandwich.  im feeling pretty special right about now.

Here is a real clip of something that makes my blood boil:

i hope this kid gets crotch rot. it’ll be doing him a favour cuz he’s never going to need his balls.

this is what happens when two siblings decide to bone cuz they’re both disgusting trolls.

are you serious? i want this kid to get hit by a bus full of terminally ill people because the irony will be so delicious.

im not sure where it is, i just really hate this kid.  are you people seeing this? kids like exist.  if you’re unlucky and hook up with an idiot, this could be your child.

if you know whats good for you, don’t let this demon spawn taint your womb.  and guys, if your hobbies include huffing paint thinner or drinking gasoline… lop your cock off with a hatchet. spare us.

son of a bitch baby nipples, this kid STILL has that stupid mask on. this is why the profession of garbage man/homeless man came along, we can clearly see the life path here.  masked asshole now… possible masked pedofile/crack dealer/scumbag illiterate in a few years.

if any of these terms elude you, google ‘hamilton, ontario’ - it’ll sum things up nicely.

and for you ladies that think this kid is gonna be a real stud cuz he can push all the right buttons, look what he’s dealing with; a long hard shaft.  i think it speaks for itself.

im way too angry to even move.

ungh

Since i feel so strongly about this, i decided to find her on the most useful person finder ever - facebook.

sadly, there’s about 400 girls pretending to be one.

so, i messaged them all, hoping for the best, so far… im still waiting, but im sure she’s just nervous about getting approached by a man with huge balls (refer to my religion) for the first time in a long time, as she’s recently on the market.

though, i stalk… i mean, discuss my feelings about anne with a bit of trepidation, as we’ve never met, and i can only base her personality and such as seen in her films, this is a young but nonetheless budding romance, soon to blossom into something more than i can describe, possibly some sex maybe a seafood dinner.

its the classic story of david and goliath, except in this case goliath is really a super hot babe who is famous, and david, is actually darryl.

really, the only similarities are that im awesome, and david is also a man.

i feel as though billy joel might have said it best as he described this unfurling love in that she is an uptown girl living in her uptown world and im a downtown man… thats what i am.

though, billy joe royal also has a case with his classic hit down in the boondocks. this is pretty much my lifestyle compared to the posh live of miss hathaway.

anyone see the devil wears prada? i didn’t either, but i hear some of the garbs she dons herself in cost more than my car. i’d have to believe this since my ride is worth about the same as a tank of gas. not bad huh?

anne - if you see this, i think we should mate. no, you didn’t just throw up in your mouth a lil, thats the taste of love.

so, my bimbo gal pal friend amy was telling me about the pride parade and discussed with me some pictures of gay mens and their nakedness.

seems old gay men have penis’ that look like fat croissants with anorexic wiener poking out the front.  picture this.

not only will it make you NOT hungry (so you can become anorexic yourself) but you’ll feel better about being you, and not an old gay man with a crazy looking junk pile.

to conclude this note, i’ve added a contest, prize is dinner of your choice, on me.

unlike most contests, this one is open to residents of quebec despite the obvious handicap of being french.

all you have to do is figure out what the common theme here is, and also which my favourite part of this picture is.

simple. andddd go!

Ps. katy perry - i also kissed a girl, and i always like it, unless i don’t.